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running with scissors

Attack of the Phlegm Monster

Submitted by LisaS on Sat, 01/31/2009 - 21:20
  • colds and illnesses
  • getting children to take medication
  • Older Parents
  • running with scissors
  • when Mom is sick

If any of you thought that I’d disappeared off the planet, it is not so; family matters took Ella and I out of town, as a matter of fact we spent almost two weeks in sunny California visiting my parents and soaking up the warm gentle sun. After weeks of nasty cold and icy conditions at home it was therapeutic.

No sooner had we returned home from California where the weather was unseasonably warm by the way, when I caught my son’s cold and began coughing and sneezing as if I’d immersed my head in a bag of black pepper. I don’t know about you, but I find colds annoying and exhausting – all that wiping, sneezing, coughing and mucous wears me out.

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“Mommy is Strong:” Becoming My Daughter’s Heroine

Submitted by LisaS on Mon, 01/12/2009 - 09:15
  • Adoptees
  • handling crisis situations with your children
  • how to get your child out of an unlocked car
  • Older parenting
  • Older Parents
  • running with scissors

How often do we get to be heroes or heroines in our children’s lives? And what does it take to attain that status?

Well in my case a screw up caused by absent mindedness and distraction elevated me to that status. Ella and I drove to a play date and when we arrived at our destination I decided to leave the keys in the car. My friend lives on a farm and there is no danger of a car being heisted from her yard. I took the keys out of the ignition and placed them in the consul. Then I jumped out of the car and went around to retrieve Ella from her car seat.

When I pulled on the door handle it didn’t budge. I pulled again, but no luck - I had locked my daughter in the car. This had never happened to me before and I could have kicked myself.

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Running With Scissors*…all Week Long!

Submitted by LisaS on Mon, 12/15/2008 - 09:15
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • challenges of being home with toddlers
  • running with scissors
  • starting your child in preschool

*because raising children can be like living on a sharp edge

Since my last "Running With Scissors" blog there have been several developments and some setbacks in my life with my delightful tornado toddler Ella. Firstly, she is less of a toddler every day. What I have on my hands now is a little girl of three who some days acts like she is going on fifteen. Strong willed, single minded, manipulative, intelligent, intense and creative she runs through the days with me panting behind her, hardly keeping up.

Believe me this has nothing to do with me being 55 years old - this little girl is always on a mission, be it getting into my lipstick and smearing it all over her face, the floor, the rugs; taking rubber stamps and decorating the walls, using her stool to access every “ah, please don’t touch those things, they belong to Mommy" place in the house; finding scissors wherever they are hidden and improving her cutting skills; and last but certainly not least, manipulating the men in this house until they don’t know their heads from their a&%$s.

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Running With Scissors* Sunday: “Time Out” Effective in Discouraging Unpleasant and Unruly Behavior of my Adopted Only Child

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 11/16/2008 - 09:15
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • effective disciplining
  • Guatemalan adoption
  • Older Parents
  • running with scissors
  • spoiled adopted child
  • spoiled only child

*because raising children can be like living on a sharp edge

Last Sunday I shared my most recent challenges with my daughter Ella; she had become annoying, disobedient and unpleasant to be with in the last month. Behaviors such as running away every time I called her, throwing toys, breaking things, slamming doors, having a crying fit when she didn’t get her way, and basically ignoring everything I said to her were becoming routine. I knew I had to take matters in hand quickly.

I decided to use the time out system as I do not believe in physical punishment. Every time Ella was out of line I would give her one warning – but only one. If she did not correct that behavior, she would go to time out for three minutes (one minute for each year of age). Time out did not need to be in a bedroom or a room with a closed door; it was enough that I made her stay in a designated area such as a hallway. I would tell her that she would stay there until I allowed her to come out. If she came out before the three minutes were up, I would gently but firmly put her back. Would she go willingly and happily to time out? Are you kidding? Often she was kicking and screaming and always crying as if the world had come to an end. My daughter is quite the drama queen and can produce tears at the drop of a dime. But I did not relent, and each episode of time out she had to stay in the designated area for three minutes until I announced that her time in time out was up. At home I usually set a timer for three minutes.

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Running with Scissors* Sunday: Spoiling the Adopted Only Child

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 11/09/2008 - 13:40
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • Older Parents
  • only child
  • running with scissors
  • spoiling the only child
  • spoiling your adopted child

*because raising children can be like running on a sharp edge

Guilty as charged I’ve been spoiling my daughter and I'm not suggesting that I spend too much time hugging and loving her because I don’t believe that love and affection spoil a child. What I’ve been doing is letting her get away with unacceptable and annoying behavior, such as ignoring me when I ask or tell her to do or stop doing something. Additionally I have been giving in to her on occasions when I want to avoid conflict or am tired. And since I’m visiting my sister, I see how bent out of shape she gets when I talk to someone else for more than a minute or two.

It is quite amazing how quickly this situation evolved. A month or so ago this was not the situation, but it certainly is now. Smart and strong willed, my daughter could manipulate a statue, and on days when I’m not on my toes, she manipulates me as well. Producing crocodile tears on demand is her forte, and I’ve realized just how influenced I’ve been by those tears. So now it is time to do damage control.

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Running With Scissors* Sunday: Third Birthday Reflections

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 10/26/2008 - 08:45
  • adopted daughter turns three
  • Adoptees
  • Adoptive parenting
  • child birthday celebration
  • running with scissors
  • toddler parenting

*because raising children is sometimes like running on a sharp edge

My amazing and precious little girl turned three this week. I get emotional on my children’s birthdays; I consider parenting a blessing and an honor. The fact that I have four remarkable children never ceases to amaze me.

As I watched Ella dance and summersault her way around the house today I marveled at the little girl she has become: smart, curious, funny, sensitive, strong willed, feisty and oh so loveable. I just kept thinking how blessed I am to have her in my life. Each day is unique with this remarkable little girl.

Ella has a strong sense of family and is very attached to me. She often calls me her “best friend” which I find touching. She is no loner and wants company when she is playing, particularly her imaginative games. Being outdoors playing with rocks, sticks and leaves is probably right up there as her favorite pastime, but lately drawing with crayons is very popular as well. And when it comes to stories, she can sit and listen to them for hours. For her birthday we bought her a big doll house with lots of furniture and little people to fill it. She adores it and I think it will help pass some long days in the winter.

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Running With Scissors* Sunday: The Napless Toddler

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 10/05/2008 - 08:45
  • Adoptive parenting
  • how much sleep does a toddler need
  • running with scissors
  • when your toddler won't nap

 *because raising children is sometimes like running on a sharp edge

Oy vey, I have a napless toddler on my hands. Full of energy and unable to settle down long enough to fall asleep in the afternoon, my dear daughter morphs into a weeping monster by 5:00 pm. No amount of attention or distraction can placate her. She is irritable, moody, restless, sensitive, argumentative, impatient, demanding, and just plain exhausted. It is all I can do to get through the last couple hours until she falls asleep, a process that takes seconds now that she is not napping.

Did I choose the napless route in order to have tornado toddler fall asleep before 11:00 pm? Are you kidding?

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Running With Scissors* Sunday: The Terrible Threes?

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 09/14/2008 - 11:09
  • Adoptive parenting
  • advice for parents
  • Guatemalan adoption
  • losing your parent sanity
  • Older Parents
  • parenting a three year old
  • running with scissors

As my daughter Ella approaches her third birthday, I keep waiting for certain things to get easier. After all, the terrible twos, characterized by toddlers being negative about most things and saying ‘no’ to pretty much everything, accompanied by mood changes and temper tantrums, should be coming to a close as we enter a new, calmer period in her development. Well, it just isn’t happening that way. She is as feisty and stubborn as ever, and wants complete control of everything. Yes, I would characterize my almost three year old as a control freak.

I only started hearing about the “terrible threes” about a year ago, and frankly, I was skeptical. After all I’d raised three sons without this pesky stage, and anyway, had children changed so much in the last twenty years? The answer is a big resounding yes.

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Running With Scissors* Sunday – Adopted Children and Long Distance Relationships with Older Siblings

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 09/07/2008 - 11:45
  • Adoptive family
  • big age differences between adopted child and other siblings
  • facilitating sibling relationships
  • Guatemalan adoption
  • Older Parents
  • running with scissors

My adorable daughter Ella has three older brothers, and two of them live a long way away, with her seeing them four to five times a year. What I find truly amazing is her reaction each time she sees them. There is no “getting to know you again” transition period - she just picks up where she left off the last time they were together, thrilled at seeing them and engaging with them non-stop. This is highly unusual for Ella, as she can be very shy and closed when she hasn’t seen someone for a while.

When I adopted Ella, I thought about the fact that it would be difficult for her to establish and maintain relationships with her brothers who were married and living away from home. I wondered how I could facilitate optimal long distance brother-sister relationships. As it often happens in families, letting matters take care of themselves was the best solution.

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“Running With Scissors” Sunday: Toddler Tornado and I are on the Road,

Submitted by LisaS on Sun, 08/03/2008 - 09:45
  • Adoptive parenting
  • running with scissors
  • traveling with our adopted toddler

Last year we took a very long trip with our adopted daughter Ella to visit family and friends in Israel. It was not an easy trip with a nineteen month old toddler on my lap for over sixteen hours on packed airplanes, but it was well worth it.

This year we are not going nearly so far, but our trip will consist of two fairly short flights and then a long car ride. We are heading to our neighbor to the north – yes, beautiful Canada. I am excited about going back to my hometown, and plan on some serious mental relaxation while getting in touch with my roots. 

Ella is not the quiet toddler communicating through sign language that we travelled with last year. She has a lot to say about where we are going, what we are doing and how we are doing it. Although she loves flying and already has her own frequent flyer miles, long trips in cars have never been a favorite of hers, so we’ve avoided them.

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