shame

Trauma Thursday: Support From Other Trauma Survivors for Traumatized Adopted Child

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 05/29/2008 - 15:06

Girls on path (c) Lynda BernhardtIn my last blog entry entitled Trauma Thursday: Importance of Traumatized Adopted Child Feeling Secure, I shared that many trauma survivors have a difficult time sharing their most horrific abuse stories because they feel a deep level of shame. Often, the traumatized adopted child will have one (or more) particularly severe incidents of trauma that make them fear that others will reject them if they learn about it.

Until the traumatized adopted child talks about what happened with another person (whether that be his adoptive parents, a therapist, or a friend), he is going to continue struggling in his efforts to heal from trauma.

Telling Your Sexually Abused Adopted Child: "It was NOT Your Fault"

Submitted by FaithA on Mon, 04/14/2008 - 07:35

Most sexually abused adopted children feel guilty and responsible for the abuses they suffered. This might not make much sense to a person who never suffered from sexual abuse. From the outside, it seems obvious that a child is never responsible for sexual contact with an adult. However, from the sexually abused adopted children's perspective, this is not obvious at all.

Feeling responsible for being sexually abused is an even bigger issue when the sexual abuse started at a young age. In my case, I was only a toddler when the sexual abuse began, so I learned from my earliest days that I did not have a say over how my body was treated. Unfortunately, this lack of boundaries carries over into all other relationships, so when other adult abusers demand sexual contact, the child puts up no fight and then feels guilty about it afterward.

I cannot tell you how many adult survivors of sexual abuse have told me that they were responsible for having a "sexual relationship" with an adult when they were just children.