Do you have an adopted child who sleepwalks? Sleepwalkers make life a little more interesting for family and friends. Of course, forgetting to mention that your child is a sleepwalker before a sleepover with a friend can cause real trouble, for your child that is. Research suggests that sleep deprivation may be a cause of sleepwalking. In fact, some Canadian researchers used forced sleep deprivation to diagnose sleepwalkers referred to a sleep disorder clinic. While only 50 percent of the patients in the study had episodes of movement without sleep deprivation, 90 percent had episodes after forced sleep deprivation.

Have you reached the point that you no longer like your adopted child? Perhaps your child has broken one too many things, hurt the other children one too many times, or lied to you everyday for years. I have been to that point myself, more than once over the 15 years that my husband and I have been fostering and adopting children. If you do not have biological children, then I have a little secret to share with you. Many parents go through this phase with their birth children as well. Part of the problem can be explained by the teenage brain making a transition from processing in the amygdala, located in the temporal lobes based on feelings and gut reaction, to processing in the frontal lobe, based on planning and judgment.

Depressed teens will exhibit noticeable changes in both their thinking and their behavior. They may show little to no motivation and can become withdrawn even from the family, secluding themselves behind their closed bedroom door for hours at a time.

Difficulties within the family, losing a loved one, short comings at school, or in a relationship can all begin as negative feelings but can turn into full blown depression in your teenager.

Depressed teens often see their problems as completely overwhelming and the pain associated with those problems as utterly unbearable. 

Depressed Teens May:

• Sleep excessively,
• Have a change in eating habits,
• Exhibit criminal or rebellious behaviors
• Exhibit apathy

The CDC has issued a new report, “Assessing the Burden of Human Papillomavirus (HPV)-Associated Cancers in the United States (ABHACUS).” The CDC has pushed for the HPV vaccine, commonly known as Gardasil, to be given to all girls and women between the ages of 9 and 26. They are pushing for the younger age to reach girls before they become sexually active, if possible. The numbers that the CDC collected and included in this report will serve as a baseline to measure the success of the HPV vaccine as well as the cervical cancer screening programs. Numbers reported from 38 states for five years indicate that 25,000 cases of cancer caused by HPV occur each year.

Of course, these cancers caused by HPV happened before the HPV vaccine was developed. The cancer sites associated with the Human Papillomavirus or HPV include the cervix, mouth, anus, vulva, penis, and vagina. This list may give you a clue as to why condoms do not offer 100-percent protection against the more than 30 sexually transmitted types of HPV.

A girl should show signs of puberty between seven and 13, a boy by 14 years of age. Doctors will not typically intervene medically unless a child is clearly outside of these normal developmental age ranges. The primary cause of delayed puberty does not usually require treatment. This is when a child is a late bloomer, called a constitutional delay. These teens will enter puberty in the regular way. Of course, entering puberty later than most of your peers can cause considerable embarrassment to a teen. There are several other possible causes for latent or delayed Puberty to consider.

Is there a chance that your child is dealing with anorexia? Is your child playing sports year round and a very athletic build? Both of these can cause delays in the onset of puberty in girls because a girl’s body needs a certain amount of fat to cause puberty and begin menstruating. Chronic illnesses can cause delays in puberty such as cystic fibrosis, kidney disease, renal disorders, diabetes, and asthma because these conditions make it more difficult for their bodies to develop and grow.

Like Lisa, I too have been off doing a bit of traveling recently.  We have been down in Texas celebrating my grandmother’s 80^th birthday at a Shakespeare festival.  Anyone who is a fan of him, his work, or literature in general would have had a blast attending this event.  Even my six year old, to everyone’s amazement and utter delight sat on the edge of his seat for the entire performance of The Taming of the Shrew, completely engrossed in the action that was in front of him “live on stage.”

The picture is one I snapped with my phone while walking from one house to another, this butterfly garden was only one of many breathtaking gardens on the grounds.  I had just as much fun snapping pictures of the grounds as I did attending the lectures workshops and tours! 

While being surrounded by family and all of this natural beauty, we also sadly discovered that my oldest son has been up to his old habits, lying about homework, not doing class work and as a result has failed

Summer camp used to be my reprieve when I was still parenting a now adult daughter. She was a difficult child to parent. She tested us at every level and went through quite a gamete of severe behaviors. She loved summer camp so every summer I signed her up for two or three different camps.

Each was a little different in what was offered to campers but some things she did included swimming, shooting, horseback riding, and rock climbing. Summer camp was actually less expensive than respite care for a child with severe behaviors.

Because she enjoyed camp so much and was not attached to the caregivers at camp, she was a model child while there. In fact, one camp had her back as a leader when she was old enough. She served on a missions team that visited several orphanages providing medical services, games, and blankets in Guatemala four years ago. It was only at home that she had trouble, some call it PTSD or RAD.

Somehow, I changed my thinking to, "children need to earn summer camp by good behavior." What the heck was I thinking? That was my summer break from dealing with difficult behaviors from traumatized children. A break needed for all parties involved.

When foster parenting teenage girls dating boys is bound to happen. On the one hand, you want your foster children to lead as normal a life as possible. On the other hand, most teenagers in foster care are emotionally immature and have poor boundaries do to years of neglect or abuse. These are not good qualities to have when a girl is alone somewhere with a teenage boy in the throws of puberty. Is there a safe middle ground, a way to let your foster teenager have fun and yet offer that extra bit of protection?

Does your child with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome dress inappropriately for the occasion? Some examples that come to mind are wearing shorts and no jacket in cold weather or wearing turtlenecks and sweaters in summer. There is more to it than that though. I have one daughter that dresses for a fashion show everyday, even if we will not be leaving the house. A friend shared with me that her teenage daughter with FAS does the same thing. Even if she knows she will be cleaning, painting, or shoveling out horse stalls, it does not change her clothing choices.

Because we homeschool, there are days when we never leave our own yard. Yet my teenage daughter with FAS spends an hour or more getting ready. Not only does she dress well, adding a suit jacket or sweater, but she also accessorizes, and perfects her hair. This is one area of her development where she is age appropriate. A friend shared that she gets angry at her daughter for wearing her best clothes to scrub floors. I tend to ignore it for several reasons. I have an older daughter who dressed nice at home, but dressed in raggedy play clothes every time she had an appointment. Therefore, I prefer the dressing up all the time. Secondly, I buy clothes on sale, accept hand-me-downs, and occasionally go to the Salvation Army or Goodwill. If the nice dress clothes cost no more than a pair of jeans what difference does it make if she ruins them while cleaning?

I admit to being a little gun shy after last week’s reception of the PMS article. However, the point is, these are common parenting mistakes that adoptive parents make. I made them, and I would like to help other adoptive parents avoid them, if possible. The only way to do that is to share information, including, why it was a bad parenting idea.

For about five years, I was a compensated mentor of new foster and adoptive parents for the state. I spoke regularly with hundreds of parents, so I know that these issues are common mistakes. One issue, brought up repeatedly by the adult adoptees is adoptive parents expecting adoptee appreciation. They have explained to us repeatedly how harmful that was to their self-esteem. I realized after reading through their comments and blogs that I made this mistake. Only, I also used a double-standard, which may make it an even worse offense.