Home

Adoption Under One Roof

Covering adoption from every angle, every view, for everyone

Main Menu

  • Home
    • Recent Comments
    • What's New
  • How To Adopt
    • Getting Started
      • Is Adoption The Right Choice For Your Family?
        • Adoption Readiness Assessment
      • Adoption Referral Agency or Facilitator?
      • Assessing Adoption Health Risks
      • Baby Names for the Adopted Child
      • Choosing An Adoption Agency
      • Coming to Adoption after Infertility
      • Coming to Adoption After Loss
      • The Adoption Home Study Process
    • Adoption Types
      • Domestic Adoption
        • How Much Does a Domestic Adoption Cost?
        • Foster Care Adoption
        • Kinship Adoption
        • Private Domestic Adoption
        • Stepparent Adoption
      • Intercountry Adoption
        • Hague Intercountry Adoption Treaty
        • Independent Intercountry Adoption
        • Intercountry Adoption Through An Agency
        • Adopting From China
        • Adopting From Ethiopia
        • Adopting From India
        • Adopting From Korea
        • Adopting From Russia
      • Older Parent Adoption
      • Single Parent Adoption
    • Definition of Adoption Terms
  • Resources
    • Adoption Statistics
      • American Adoption Statistics Summary
      • Australian Foster Care Statistics
      • China Adoption Statistics
      • Czech Foster Care Statistics
      • Russia Adoption Statistics
      • Scotland Adoption Statistics
      • UK Foster Care Statistics
    • After Adoption
      • Adoption and Schools
        • Common Adoption Related School Assignments
      • Post-Adoption Depression
      • Adoption Disruption and Dissolution
      • Adjustment Period for Private Infant Adoption
      • What Does an Adoptive Child's Birth Certificate Look Like?
    • Newsletter, Subscribe To Email List
      • Newsletter, Read On Website
  • Blogs
    • Blog Comments
    • What's Hot
    • Guest Blogger
      • Guest Blog Directory
      • Adoption Muse
      • Amyadoptee
      • Dee Thompson
      • Hands and Feet Project (Haiti)
      • Hanna
      • Jeffrey A. Hancoc
      • John
      • Melinda Warshaw
      • Patricia Dischler
      • Romee
      • Rostocuties
    • Adoption Maharishi
    • AngelaW
    • FaithA
      • Baby Names
      • Trauma Thursday
      • Trauma Tuesday
    • Foster Mommy
      • Friday Activities
    • Julia Fuller
      • Parenting Mistakes Saturday
    • JulieC
      • How To Tuesday
      • Hump Day Hippie
    • LisaS
      • Running With Scissors
    • Sandra Hanks Benoiton
  • Reviews
    • Review Comments
    • What's Hot
  • Polls
    • Poll Comments
  • About Us
    • Our Philosophy
    • Navigating Our House
    • Site Map
    • Contact Us
    • Blog and Comment Policy
Home

Christmas and Holiday Gifts For The Women in Your Life

bellomonili fine jewelry

Trauma Thursday

Email this page

Trauma Thursday: How to Help Abused Child Deal With Orgasm During Sexual Abuse

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 11/20/2008 - 09:15.
  • abused child
  • child abuse
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • orgasm during rape
  • orgasm during sexual abuse
  • sexual abuse
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

On Trauma Tuesday, I talked about a difficult topic: Trauma Tuesday: Orgasms during Rape and Sexual Abuse. See that blog entry for an explanation of how experiencing orgasms during rape and sexual abuse messes with a child’s head. In this blog entry, I am going to focus on how you, as the foster or adoptive parent, can help your abused adopted child heal the wounds that resulted from experiencing orgasms during sexual abuse.

1. Explain that having orgasms during rape or sexual abuse is normal.

Most adult survivors of sexual abuse are not aware that experiencing orgasms during sexual abuse is normal, so most abused children are not going to know this, either. Reassure your abused child that his body reacted just like anyone else’s body would have responded to sexual stimulation. He bears no shame in having experienced an orgasm while being sexually abused.

2. Tell your abused child that the sexual abuse was not her fault.

Even if the child experienced an orgasm with every single rape, the child was still not responsible for being raped.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Flashbacks, Amnesia, and “Samantha Who?”

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 11/13/2008 - 09:15.
  • child abuse
  • Christina Applegate
  • flashbacks
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • Samantha Who?
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

I am a big fan of the television show Samantha Who?, which stars Christina Applegate as a “bad girl” who got hit by a car, lost her memory, and is now a “good girl” trying to figure out who she is. In each episode, the amnesiac Samantha experiences a flashback in which she remembers being an incredibly self-centered and mean person. The Samantha today is starry-eyed and sweet. Trying to merge together who Samantha was with who Samantha is today is at the core of the show.

What does this have to do with adoption? If you are parenting an abused child, it has everything to do with it. While Samantha Who? is a comedy and not looking to “go deep,” it provides a wonderful representation of what it is like to deal with flashbacks.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Lost Developmental Stages of Abused Children

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 11/06/2008 - 08:15.
  • abused child
  • child abuse
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Grief
  • loss
  • lost stages of development
  • Older child adoption
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

On Trauma Tuesday, I talked about the sense of loss that all abused children experience, whether they are ultimately adopted or not, in my blog entry entitled Trauma Tuesday: Abused Child’s Sense of Loss for What Should Have Been. In this blog entry, I am going to explain some of the lost stages of development that contribute to an abused child’s sense of loss.

The best resource I have found that identifies these lost stages is the book Beyond Integration by Doris Bryant and Judy Kessler. The book is about a woman’s experiences with healing after integrating from dissociative identity disorder (DID). This book is a great resource for anyone parenting an adopted child who experienced severe abuse, whether or not the child has DID.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Halloween Costumes and the Abused Child

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 10/30/2008 - 08:00.
  • child abuse
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Halloween
  • Halloween costumes
  • Older child adoption
  • Pokemon
  • Scream
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

If you are parenting an abused child, you might learn a lot about your child by the costume that he or she chooses to wear for Halloween. Oftentimes, the subconscious can drive the decision-making process. You might be certain that your little boy will choose a Pokemon character because he is so into Pokemon, but he instead chooses to dress up like the bad guy from the movie, Scream.

From my teen years forward, I mostly did not dress up for Halloween. If I did, I would only choose one of two costumes: a little girl or a slut. If I dressed as a little girl, I would put my hair in pigtails. It really did make me look very young. The slut costume pretty much speaks for itself. I dress conservatively, so jaws would drop when I showed up to Halloween parties as a slut.

Last year was the first Halloween in which I dressed up as something other than one of those two choices.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Defining Success in Parenting the Traumatized Adopted Child

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 10/23/2008 - 07:45.
  • child abuse
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

Julia wrote a power blog entry asked What Is a Successful Adoption of an Older Child?. Linny posted some comments about her own experiences. I have known Linny for several years and was along for the ride for some of her issues, so I understand where her comments are coming from.

As an adult who was once a traumatized child, I would like to share my own view on this topic. I truly believe that there are no lost causes. I do not believe that there is any one form of abuse that is the nail in the coffin on a child’s ability to grow into a functional adult.

I believe this because, if there were a profile that was beyond healing, that would have been mine.

  • FaithA's blog
  • 1 comment
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Signs of Trauma in the Classroom

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 10/16/2008 - 07:45.
  • behaviors in school
  • child abuse
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • ODD
  • Older child adoption
  • oppositional defiance disorder
  • RAD
  • reactive attachment disorder
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

I am an active volunteer in my son’s school. One of my favorite ways to volunteer is to be a reading tutor with the kindergarten students. I love to watch the children’s joy as the world of reading opens before their eyes. I also love to nurture the little ones.

This is my fourth year as a reading tutor. The children just love me. I tutor at a Montessori school that has pre-K and Kindergarten children together in one class. I only read with the kindergarteners unless a pre-K student is reading on a Kindergarten level. The pre-K students spend all year getting excited about being a “big kid” and getting to read with me the following year.

So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a very different reaction from a new Kindergarten student.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Risk of Date Rape for Sexually Abused Adopted Child

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 10/09/2008 - 07:45.
  • child abuse
  • date rape
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • sexual abuse
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

If you are parenting an adopted child who was sexually abused, you need to know that she is vulnerable to becoming a victim of date rape. In fact, adolescents with a history of sexual abuse are five times more likely to fall victim to date rape than adolescents with no history of sexual abuse. (See Date Rape Among Adolescents and Young Adults.) Those are staggering statistics that foster and adoptive parents need to be aware of.

It is not a coincidence that young women who have a history of sexual abuse are more likely to fall victim to date rape.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: How to Help an Adopted Child Express Anger

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 10/02/2008 - 08:45.
  • anger
  • Anxiety
  • child abuse
  • depression
  • expressing anger
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • processing anger
  • repressed anger
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

As I shared on Trauma Tuesday in my post Relationship Between Anger and Anxiety & Depression, traumatized adopted children who repress their anger often struggle with anxiety, depression, or both. While some anxiety and depression can have a biological cause, adopted children who suffered from trauma, such as abuse or neglect, are very likely to be repressing their anger, which can cause or exacerbate issues with anxiety or depression.

If you are parenting a traumatized adopted child who rarely or never expresses anger, then your child needs you to teach him or her how to do it. Children who grow up in unsafe homes do not learn how to express their anger safely, so they need you to provide them with the tools for doing this.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Traumatized Adopted Child’s Need for Therapy

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 09/18/2008 - 08:45.
  • adjusting to new home
  • child abuse
  • child psychologist
  • feeling safe
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • Older child adoption
  • therapist
  • trauma therapy
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

A guest blogger name Dee Thompson wrote a great blog about the Importance of Therapy for Older Adopted Children. The focus of her blog was on the difficult adjustment that her daughter, Alesia, experienced in moving from a neglectful home in Russia, to an orphanage, and then to her safe forever home. Like many other adoptive parents, Dee believed that Alesia would be fine after moving into her safe home, but that is not how things unfolded.

What struck me was how similar Alesia’s reaction to her trauma is to the reaction of survivors of child abuse. The cause of her trauma was different from the cause of many other trauma survivors’ issues, but the reaction is the same. So, if you are parenting a traumatized adopted child, you can learn a lot from her blog, even though you did not adopt your child from another country.

If you are parenting a traumatized adopted child, you need to have your child in therapy. Period.

  • FaithA's blog
  • Login or register to post comments
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry

Trauma Thursday: Female Perpetrators of Child Sexual Abuse

Submitted by FaithA on Thu, 09/11/2008 - 07:45.
  • child abuse
  • female child abusers
  • Foster adoption
  • Foster care
  • mother-daughter sexual abuse
  • Older child adoption
  • raped by a woman
  • Trauma Thursday
  • Traumatized children
  • women who abuse children

Traumatized Adopted Child (c) JulieC

A reader contacted me with questions about female perpetrators of child sexual abuse. Considering that 12% of sexual assaults on children under age six are committed by women, those of you who are parenting traumatized children need to know the facts about female perpetrators of child sexual abuse.

The first obvious question is how a woman can sexually abuse a child, particularly a male child. Because a woman does not come equipped with male genitalia, many people assume that a woman cannot rape a child. That is an incorrect assumption.

  • FaithA's blog
  • 1 comment
  • Read more
  • Email this Blog entry
123next ›last »

RSS subscribers: 561. Please subscribe to our blog RSS feed or comment RSS feed. Twitter users follow us. Myspace users friend us.

If you are a new visitor please take a moment and read A Place for Everyone at Adoption Under One Roof

 

Traveling Soon?

Expedia.com

User login

  • Create new account
  • Request new password

What's Hot

  • Is Fifty Too Old to Adopt?
  • Teenage Foster Daughters and Menses Issues
  • Trauma Tuesday: Panic Attacks and the Adopted Child
  • GUEST BLOG - A Legitimate Life: A Forbidden Journey of Self Discovery
  • Does Adopting a Child Change Your Parenting Philosophy?

More

Easy Christmas Gift

Buy Custom Adoption Products... puzzles, clothing, rugs

My Culture Logo

Recent Comments

  • Made Over
    3 hours 36 min ago
  • Made over?
    4 hours 44 min ago
  • Excellent information -
    7 hours 23 min ago
  • Dual Identilty
    7 hours 33 min ago
  • GREAT information!!
    8 hours 35 min ago
  • Body memories
    8 hours 38 min ago
  • Interesting post
    22 hours 14 min ago
  • "Parents typically have 30
    1 day 4 hours ago
  • Thanks Amy. Lisa S.
    1 day 4 hours ago
  • Commonwealth Adoptions International
    1 day 5 hours ago

More

Buy Crafts from La Chapina Huipil Crafts

La Chupina Huipil Crafts

Site Map
© 2008 Adoption Under One Roof LLC. All Rights Reserved. email: info at ouradopt.com
Opinions expressed in posts and blogs belong to the person who is expressing them. So then it follows that these opinions are not those of Adoption Under One Roof.