US adoption laws
The Battle Over Baby Vanessa Moves into the Courtroom

Montgomery County Juvenile Court in Dayton Ohio is the scene of the heated and media magnet custody battle over two year old Vanessa, placed for adoption with Stacey Doss two years ago by her birthmother Andrea Conley. At that time Conley said she had no idea who the birth father was, but the birthfather Benjamin Mills Jr stepped forward shortly after Vanessa was placed with Doss stating that he was the birth father (which he is) and the birthmother had lied (which she had) and now demands custody of Vanessa. He never gave consent for his daughter to be placed for adoption.
As mentioned in my previous blogs on this distressing and depressing situation, Mills, Vanessa's biological father, has a prison record for assaulting Conley (Vanessa’s birthmother); apparently he pulled out her hair and beat her up. Mills also has an outstanding charge of child endangerment against him; Mills has 5 other birth children but custody of none. His mother is raising some of his children and apparently she is willing to raise Vanessa as well. Additionally, Mills’s driver’s license has been suspended for failure to pay child support.
Should the Children Adopted From Haiti After the Earthquake Have Been Left in Haiti? Hell No!

I knew it was simply a matter of time before the shit hit the fan about the adoptions from Haiti following the big earthquake in January 2010. After reading this lengthy article on the online NY Times, I decided it was time to post my opinion on the subject because frankly pro-ethical and transparent intercountry adoption advocates are being intimidated into silence these days.
Not surprisingly my old nemesis UNICEF raised its ugly head in the anti-Haitian adoption rhetoric spewing out of the mouths and computers of people who generally have no frigging idea what life in an orphanage or third world country can be like and often believe that intercountry adoption is cultural genocide. Pardon me, UNICEF actually likes orphanages – thinks they are a better solution for children living in third world countries than being adopted out of their country. As one Guatemalan said to me during my recent trip to Guatemala:
Guest Blog: Using a Facilitator, The Do’s and Don’ts

Tina Tyra has been a facilitator since 1991, with a background in the medical and legal fields before that. While working in Labor and Delivery for 5 years, she was trained as a neo-natal bereavement counselor. Having had her own pregnancy losses - including a late term fetal demise - she felt compelled to help families cope with the aftermath of losing a baby. She now believes that this was no accident. This experience has helped her to understand the aching empty arms of a birth mother and the grief of a family who has suffered the loss of a child through miscarriage, stillbirth, or potential child due to infertility. Dr. Suess said it best..."A person is a person -- no matter how small". A woman who gives birth, whether in her heart or with her body, is no less a mother.
First, if you are working with a facilitator, they should be registered and bonded.
1. A good facilitator would not match you with a birth mom who is in a state that doesn't allow facilitators and shouldn't be working there anyway. When working with a facilitator, you have your own attorney as well, so you should be able to clarify fairly easily if you are able to work with a particular birth mom situation.
2. There are a few facilitators who do business as a "third party" broker, which is questionable as far as I am concerned. A reliable, legitimate facilitator should not just be passing on high-priced situations from agencies. That defeats the purpose. A facilitator should work with you to find you a good situation in a compatible state and should advertise accordingly. I don't pass on third party situations and I can't imagine anyone paying 30-40-50K for any situation.
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Adopting from Nicaragua
One of our readers asked about adoption from Nicaragua. Here is the latest information from November 2009 on the U.S. government site. Nicaragua is not a Hague compliant country so it does not need to meet Hague requirements for adoption. Adoption from Nicaragua is a lengthy and difficult process.
This is what makes the process so lengthy:
Nicaraguan law does not allow for a Nicaraguan child to travel to the United States to be adopted. Therefore, prospective adoptive parents must obtain a full and final adoption under Nicaraguan law before the child can immigrate to the United States.
Good and Bad Facilitators and Referral Services

Shelia Davis and her wonderful husband are the adoptive parents of three children through domestic private infant adoption. Their youngest child was diagnosed with autism when he began missing milestones. They have had to learn many new parenting techniques to help their son. Shelia is the founder of Heaven Sent Adoption Services, Inc. She strives to help women with unplanned pregnancies make informed decisions about parenting or placing their babies. She encourages all of her potential adoptive parents to research and engage in open loving adoptions. She notes that, “Adoption is very personal to me as I am the sister of two brothers through adoption, the mother of three children through adoption, a friend to three birth parents through adoption, a child of God through adoption and a director of a licensed adoption agency.”
In response to a heated discussion that included this question: "Is a referral service basically a consultant, sort of like a wedding planner? My understanding is that facilitators are illegal in some states, like Florida. "
Shelia writes the following: First off - it is just a "title" as to what they call themselves and I don't think the words matter at all....it's the way they work, their ethics, the money they charge and who oversees their practice's that are more important.
There are both good and bad Facilitators and Referral Services -
1. They are both small businesses having ONLY a business licenses and not overseen by the courts or the government like a child placing agency or attorney is.
2. They can charge whatever they like because they are not accountable to a court system for their revenues like an agency or attorney is.
3. They are not required to have trained social workers or counselors to provide services to you or the Expectant mothers.
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Guest Blog: Birthmothers Punished Before and Continue to Bear the Brunt of the NYS Legislators

Carole L. Whitehead is a first mother who placed her son for adoption in 1963. Back then, an unwed pregnancy was to be hidden and the child secretly placed. Carole felt she had no choice but to relinquish rights to her child in 1963. Now she is advocating for adoption reform.
As an unwed 18 year old in the summer of 1962, I became pregnant and with the climate the way it was back then, I was sent away and gave up my baby because as a “single” parent I could not provide for him. Whoever heard of single parent way back when? The innuendos did speak loudly. I was the tramp and my son, the bastard child, but nobody knew that because it was a secret. To hide my shame and disgrace [I did not know that I had either], I stayed at an unwed mother’s home, gave birth alone, and sent home without my beloved baby. I signed the surrender papers on July 1, 1963, when my son was less than 2 months old. For many years, I did not understand why I was treated like a pariah with my first pregnancy. My parents experienced no joy knowing that soon they would become grandparents while still in their 40s because they and society would not accept his birth.
Dear Adoption Maharishi: Can an 11-year-old Be Adopted Without Consent From Her Mother?

Dear Adoption Maharishi,
Can an 11 year old daughter be adopted without the consent of an imprisoned natural birthmother. She [the mother] received papers stating that the birth father had already consented. The birthmother had joint custody before going into prison. She has never received any papers stating she lost custody. Now she has only twenty days to react on adoption papers served to her in prison. I know this child will want to be with her natural mother when she gets paroled in December. The adoption is in Texas, the birthmother is in prison in Michigan.
Signed,
As the world turns...?
Dear As the world turns,
Let me first state that we are not members of the BAR, nor should you consider this response as a replacement for qualified legal representation. In fact, I do suggest that this mother request a lawyer. Now that we have that out of the way, several factors could make this possible. When a parent is imprisoned for two or more years, the state can interpret that extended parental absence as a lack of stability and permanence for children involved. If the family court involved in this particular child’s case has made such a ruling then the parental rights of the mother may have been terminated by the court to provide permanency for the child. This has happened to other imprisoned parents, so it may be a factor. However, the only details we have are those provided in your letter, so we cannot be sure.
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Guest Blog: Florida Georgia Adoption Scandal Involving Baby Olivia
Hi everyone, I am Harry Panagopoulos, the adoptive father of Olivia. I thank you all for participating in this Blog. If any of you need any more FACTS about this case, I will be happy to provide you with all the information. What happened was truly WRONG. When they said it was because of our health, both my wife and I, went to all the appropriate specialists and where given a clean bill of health. Florida ICPC only requested an updated FBI clearance and that's it. This was the ONLY reason we gave them Olivia back. WE are just so tired and drained from this whole nightmare that we just hope and pray that Olivia is in good hands. We have not gotten our money back and we need it in order to pursue getting another child and move forward in our lives.
Harry and Chene Panagopoulos had been working with ASCS of Florida for over 12 months on adopting a Caucasian infant. At our first point of contact we filed in a 97 page questionnaire and at that time, a home study was required and we got that done and submitted it to ASCS they received our home study on April 20th 2008. On Friday April 17th 2009 we received an email stating that there was a potential baby that was due November 20th 2009 and if ASCS could send our profile, of course we said yes.
On Monday April 20th 2009 we received a phone call, stating that they have another baby that had just been born and was tested positive for Methamphetamine (birthmother positive for Methamphetamine and Opiates), and if she can present our profile to the birthmother. We agreed as we own a clinic that provides services to children with special needs. At 6:30 pm we received a phone call stating that the birthmother chose us and we can come to get our baby immediately. We drove all night to Florida, to get our child. On April 21st 2009, we met with ASCS (Stacia Hammond) to pick up our baby Olivia Hannah (the name we chose for her).
My Baby’s Daddy Does Not Want to Place Our Baby for Adoption
In case you are wondering, foster parenting does not end the day your foster child graduates from high school, turns 18, or ages out of the system. If you parented your foster child for any length of time, you may be in for a lifetime relationship. At least that is how it is for me. I foster teenage girls but a few have arrived here as young as 11 years. The girls I get are usually state wards, meaning they are not going home, so I usually keep them until they graduate. After they leave home as adults, they call periodically, stop by to visit, and get some grandma time. Surprisingly, even the ones who left angry, eventually mature and come back. Last week, a young woman called who left my home about four years ago. Actually, I have not spoken to her in several months. She was quite upset because her baby’s daddy does not want her to make an adoption plan for their unborn child.
Guest Blog: Bill HB 2174 Public Reporting of Adoption Expenses
We are very fortunate to have a guest blog from Lynne Banks the co-founder of the adoptionscams.net and the Midwest Regional Director of the American Adoption Congress
Lynne has been married for 25 yrs and together her and Herb have adopted two girls. Both girls enjoy the benefits of open adoption with both of their biological families.
HB 2174 requires public reporting of adoption expenses to allow judges and the public to see the actual costs attorneys charge in adoptions. It also requires that only one prospective adoptive family at a time be billed for a birth mother's expenses and that all adoptions must be conducted in one of four locations - the home county of the birth mother; the home county of the adoptive parents; or in Oklahoma or Tulsa counties.
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