When I say an adoption referral agency, or adoption facilitator, what exactly do I mean? These are agencies that find out about pregnant women who are trying to make an adoption plan for their (usually) unborn child. These agencies charge a fee for bringing a potential birthmother and a potential adoptive family together. The difference in fees charged by these agencies for their services is huge. I know of one referral agency run by an adoptive mom from her heart that only charges $100 for her services. Believe me, she earns it, and probably spends much more than that on phone calls and postage. There are also facilitators that charge $15,000 or more. The problem is that many states do not regulate facilitators or referral agencies who help people adopt. Most do not fall under the regulations of an adoption agency because they do not complete adoptions. They only bring potential adoptive families and potential birthmothers together.

Some facilitators spend a huge amount of money on advertising to locate potential birthmothers to match with families waiting to adopt. If you have ever tried paying for advertising yourself, to locate a potential birthmother, then you know how quickly the cost can add up. You also know how futile much of the private searching can be. These facilitators do the advertising and searching for you. Because many have been doing this for years, they know what their advertising budget is, and about how many matches they make each year. Then, they do the math and know how much to charge potential adoptive parents for the name of a potential birthmother.

Most of the referral agencies network with other agencies or lawyers to help each other match potential birthmothers with potential adoptive parents. For the most part these referral agencies are not soliciting birthmothers. Instead, they help bring situations from various small agencies together with potential adoptive parents. It helps cuts down on the advertising cost the agency must spend to find potential adoptive parents for more difficult to place infants. Ultimately, it helps cut down on the final adoption cost paid by the adoptive parents. Many of the families willing to adopt babies exposed to drugs, alcohol, or children who have special needs cannot afford to pay huge fees to adopt.

You may notice that I use the word potential a lot. A birthmother isn’t technically a birth mother until she releases a child and termination of parental rights takes place. Adoptive parents are not adoptive parents until they have actually adopted a child. If you have been around adoption for more than a few weeks, then you know that situations do not always work out the way you would want. Potential birthmothers decide to parent after seeing their child for the first time. Potential adoptive parents get cold feet or back out upon learning something about the mother or child. For example, a genetic possibility not originally disclosed, alcohol, or drug use, or a child born with an unexpected special need.

Photo Credit: FM.

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