Years ago, most private domestic adoptions were closed adoptions, which means that the birth mother had no contact with the adoptive family that was parenting her birth child. As members of the adoption triad have spoken out about their issues with closed adoption, the trend in the United States has moved toward having more openness in private domestic adoptions.

Private domestic adoptions generally fall under one of three categories:

•    Closed adoption
•    Open adoption
•    Semi-open adoption

This article defines each level of openness.

There is no "right" or "wrong" level of openness in adoption. What matters is making sure that the needs of both the birth mother and the adoptive family are met. As long as all parties involved feel comfortable with the level of openness in an adoption, then an adoption can be viewed as "successful," no matter which level of openness is chosen.

Closed Adoption

A closed adoption is the traditional adoption with which most people are familiar. A woman places her newborn baby for adoption with an adoption agency or adoption facilitator without ever meeting the adoptive parents. In some cases, the birth mother did not even know the gender of her baby. The idea was that the birth mother would place the baby for adoption and then move on with her life as if the pregnancy had never happened.

The problem was that many birth mothers could not just "move on" with their lives. They did not know who was raising their babies. They did not even know if the child was dead or alive. The birth mothers had no way to reassure themselves that they had made the best decision because they had no information about the adoptive family whatsoever.

Adoptive families would adopt a baby that seemingly dropped out of the sky. The baby would often come without any medical history, so the adoptive parents could not provide the child's pediatrician with any health information about the child before the child joined the family. The adoptive parents could not answer questions about why the child was placed for adoption because the adoptive parents did not know themselves.

Many adoptees who grew up in closed adoptions were frustrated by the lack of information about their pasts. Because of sealed adoption records, searching for their birth families was challenging and, in some cases, impossible. Adult adoptees would live their lives never knowing their medical history or their "roots." While some adoptees found a way to make peace with this lack of information, others lived their lives plagued by these unanswered questions.

Closed adoptions are not very common today, although some do still take place. For example, if a baby is left at a safe haven location, then no information about the birth family is going to be available, so the adoption must be closed. In other cases, both the birth mother and the adoptive families choose to enter into a closed adoption. In most cases, the adoption facilitator, which might be an adoption agency or an adoption attorney, will request a medical history for both birth parents, even though the adoption is closed, so that the adoptive family will have this information.

Open Adoption

Open adoptions have become increasing popular in recent years. In an open adoption, there are no "secrets." The birth mother and adoptive family exchange full identifying information, so the adopted child grows up knowing his medical history and the answers to his questions, such as why he was placed for adoption.

Some open adoptions are very successful, and the adopted child grows up with having one more person in his life who loves him. Other open adoptions are quite challenging, with the birth mother and adoptive parents struggling to define the birth mother's role in the child's life. As with any long-term relationship, lots of communication is the key to making an open adoption work.

There are varying levels of openness in open adoption based upon how involved the birth mother is in the child's life. Here are some examples of levels of openness within an open adoption:

Visits

The most open adoptions include regular visits with the birth mother. Visits might happen annually or several times a year, depending upon what works best for all involved. By the birth mother being active in the adopted child's life, the adopted child has access to the answers to all of his questions about his adoption, and the birth mother is able to maintain a relationship with her birth child.

Telephone or Email Contact

Some open adoptions do not include visits, but the birth mother stays in touch with the adoptive family through phone calls or through emails. This level of openness still provides the adopted child with answers to his questions and the birth mother with a connection to her birth child.

Pictures and Letters

The birth mother might choose not to have any personal contact but still request that the adoptive family send her periodic letters and pictures of the adopted child. This provides the birth mother with reassurance that her birth child is happy and loved. The birth mother might also choose to reciprocate with pictures and letters of her own.

Contact on an "As-Needed" Basis Only

Some birth mothers in open adoptions choose to step away from the adoptive family but keep the adoptive family current with her contact information in case she is ever needed. The birth mother welcomes contact from the adoptive family if questions arise but does not seek to be actively involved in the adoptive family's life.

Different levels of openness within an open adoption work better for different relationships between adoptive families and birth mothers. Also, some open adoptions include more or less openness over time as the lives and needs of all parties involved change. Open communication is the key.

Semi-Open Adoption

Semi-open adoption is available for people who are not comfortable with either the extreme of a fully closed or a fully open adoption. A semi-open adoption attempts to provide the "best of both worlds."

In a semi-open adoption, personal information is shared between the birth mother and the adoptive family through an intermediary, such as an adoption agency or adoption attorney. However, no identifying information is revealed. In this way, communication is established between the parties while still maintaining privacy on both ends.

Adoptive families who adopt through a semi-open adoption frequently meet the birth mother at least one time, typically before the baby is born. However, this meeting is not required. If the parties do meet, they share their first names only and do not discuss personal information, such as where they live. They get to know each other within these boundaries and discuss how the semi-open adoption will work. A facilitator is usually present to guide these interviews.

Adoptive families who adopt through a semi-open adoption typically receive a thorough medical history for both the birth mother's and birth father's families. They are also usually provided with basic information about why the birth mother chose to place the baby for adoption. In this way, the two biggest hurdles in closed adoptions are overcome.

After the adoption, adoptive families in semi-open adoptions typically send pictures and letters to the birth mother through an intermediary, such as an adoption agency or adoption law attorney, on a regular basis. The adoptive family might be asked to send updates more frequently in the first year or two and then provide annual or semi-annual updates after that. The birth mother might choose to reciprocate with her own pictures and letters. However, many birth mothers choose to keep the communication one way.