Thanks!!

That was GREAT information. Thank you for elaborating on the topic.

- Faith

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We must BE the change we wish to see in the world. - Ghandi

Traumatized Children

This is an important message to get to parents. I’d like to make a couple of comments based on my experience.

One thing to think about is that what is felt as abuse from the child’s perspective may be very different than what we, as adults, see as abuse. An example of this is extensive medical treatment. My daughter had multiple surgeries and medical treatments before she came to us. Unfortunately a small child (Maya was 2) cannot understand the difference between life-saving treatment and an intentionally inflicted injury! Another example may be gun shots (violent, scary and dangerous) vs. fireworks (safe and fun).

Your child is probably not aware that this is an emotional flashback, and may not have the language to explain to you what is happening. Many of these memories can be pre-verbal, or, if adopted from another country, may be in a different language. It really helps to ask directing questions. An example might be "I noticed that it bothers you when we're late. Are you scared? What do you think is going to happen?" I've also found that getting down to the child's eye level really helps, as does maintaining physical contact.

My own experience also has taught me that recognizing the triggers and addressing them ahead of time in a calm manner really helps. My daughter, now 9 1/2, still can be very anxious if she doesn't know exactly where her father and I are. If we leave the house, we take care to explain to her where we are going and how long we'll be gone. And she's been with us for over seven years!

Great topic!

Adoption Under One Roof - Comments for "Abused Adopted Child and Emotional Flashbacks"

Thanks!!

Traumatized Children