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Good Adoption Agency - Bad Adoption Agency: But is it Really That Simple?

LisaS — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 09:03:57 -0600

Over four years ago my niece and I started our adoptions from Guatemala. She received her referral, or should I say chose her son from her agency’s photolisting services, in July 2004. They did not have to have their paper work completed before they could receive a referral.

At the same time, I was madly trying to collect paperwork from three countries in order to complete my dossier (paperwork for intercountry adoption) so that I would be put on the waiting list for a referral. We received our referral on November 8th, 2005.

My niece brought her son home from Guatemala fourteen months after she received her referral. We brought Ella home seven months after her referral. How did this happen? Was it a case of good agency/bad agency, or was more involved?

Adopting for the Money?

JulieC — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:23:22 -0600

I am convinced that it must have been negative 62 this morning while we stood, teeth rattling like ice cubes around an empty glass, waiting for the school bus. As I was huddling as closely as humanly possible to my young hand warmer, I mean child, son, warm blooded offspring of mine, I happened to overhear some of the intermediate school kids stammering out a conversation in between involuntary body convulsions from the cold, and jamming their hands in their pockets while jumping in place for warmth.

Moving away from the conversation was not an option, as they were serving as wonderful windbreakers against the gusty gales of the morning, so I listened to them talk about report cards, grades, and teachers, when the conversation ended up taking a detour into adoptionville, as one of the children stated that his teacher had been absent on Friday because she had to be in court, because she was adopting a child.

Instantly my head shot up, and I was getting ready to say something about it being National Adoption Awareness Month, when I caught a very condescending look come over

Just How Bad Can Life Be With An Adopted Traumatized Child?

FosterMommy — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:21:31 -0500

Just how bad can life be with an adopted traumatized child? After all, it is just a child, right? For most people a picture comes to mind of a sweet cuddly child, who is just looking for love, understanding, and positive reinforcement. With enough love, any child can be turned around. Those people who fail, they just do not try hard enough or they are just too critical. Before I began more than a decade of foster care, I might have said these things myself. Before I began fostering older children, I believed these things myself. After years of attending support group meetings, providing respite care to desperate parents, and mentoring foster, and adoptive parents I know a different truth. If you have not parented a child like this, then you have no clue what it can be like living 24/7 in the same house. I bring this up because of the recent abandonments of teenagers in Nebraska.

I belong to a yahoo group for parents who live with children exposed to alcohol before birth. Without giving too much information, I would like to share some pieces of a recent plea made on the group for help. This is an extreme situation involving a very young child. Many will have trouble believing a child so young is capable of such extreme behavior. I am sure that is why this mother is having so much trouble getting the help for her child even though she has been begging for help. Even her husband is doubtful. Apparently, the child does not misbehave when Daddy is present.

Just How Bad Can Life Be With An Adopted Traumatized Child?

FosterMommy — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 20:21:31 -0500

A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE....

GuestBlogger — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:50:17 -0500

Linny and her husband have adopted several times: Internationally; through the foster/adopt system; and transracially through domestic adoption. (Five infants, three older child adoptions)They have known the joys and disappointments of adoption, having placed one child into residential (with no help from the state system) ; reversing/dissolving another adoption, and having one child re-adopted. She and her husband have three little ones at home now and are hoping to adopt one more.

I recently responded to a blog concerning the controversy over the Nebraska safe-haven law and what the state systems consider 'abandonment'. I'd like to take a moment to give a perspective of what it can be like to deal with older adopted children who choose (or cannot) change their behaviors in order to live in a safe traditional home.

A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE....

GuestBlogger — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:50:17 -0500

Dear Adoption Maharishi - Under 18 and Pregnant Who Decides on Adoption Me or My Parents?

Adoption_Maharishi — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:15:38 -0500

Dear Adoption Maharishi,

If you are under 18 and you get pregnant, can your parents give your baby up for adoption even if you don’t want them to?
Possibly Pregnant :0(

Dear Possibly Pregnant,

Being pregnant is scary at any age, but it is absolutely terrifying to be pregnant as a teenager! While telling your parents about your possible pregnancy can seem like an impossible task, and may very well result in some unpleasantness as they try to absorb the idea of their baby having a baby; pregnancy is not something that you can handle all on your own. So albeit petrifying, it is absolutely imperative to tell your parents that you are pregnant, even if you are afraid of what their reaction might be; like deciding to place your baby for adoption even if adoption is against your wishes.

JulieC's Site to See

JulieC — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:57:14 -0500

As I was wandering around the Internet this evening, window shopping at the world’s information I stumbled upon the gripping essay All That We Have Chosen, written by Susan Ito. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but almost instantly I was hooked by the story, and even as the tune changed, and the story began to grow dark, I continued to read, completely engrossed in the pain and utter honesty that had been so humbly laid out before me.

I thought about my blood, the tablespoons of blood that lay in the glass tube in the clinic. Blood that was waiting to speak, its language translated by chemicals and microscopes. Blood of the birthmother I'd tracked down and met when I was twenty, who had been glad to know me, but wanted me to stay a lifelong secret. Blood of my invisible birthfather, whose name she wouldn't reveal to me. Blood of so many unknown relatives. This blood was going to inform me of the presence of another, of one whose face I would finally see, a child to name and hold.

News From Around the Adoption World

JulieC — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 22:01:11 -0500

We are coming to the end of another week, so lets take a look at some of the things that have been going on this week in the world of adoption, shall we? A peek into the foster care system reveals bad news, as usual these days. As I am sure some of you have already guessed, the foster care system has taken a few blows as our economy continues to go into the crapper. More families cannot afford to feed their children, or pay for their homes, stress levels over financial woes are at all time highs, and patience levels at an all time low; which all leads to an influx of children into the system, and a shortage of foster homes. Then there are the budget woes, but we’ve beat that horse enough.

We move on to Wisconsin where a woman who allegedly scammed four different couples by offering them each the chance to adopt her ‘pretend’ unborn child, plead not guilty to the 16 counts of wire fraud charged against her. Exactly how that is actual news I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure that if she thought there was anything to feel guilty over in scamming multiple families out not only out of their money but their dreams for a family as well, she uh, wouldn’t have done it… DUH!

Interestingly enough, in Texas a woman out on supervised release, supervised release, for committing an adoption scam, was sentenced to 6.5 years for committing, yep, you guessed it ANOTHER adoption scam. Belinda Ramirez admitted to scamming a couple out of a whopping $800 by offering them the baby that she was pretending to be carrying. We’ll see if we can catch up with her in 6 years to see if they were worth the $800 she spent on them…

Once Again What is Best for the Children is not Taken into Consideration

LisaS — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:55:59 -0500

Since coming into the intercountry adoption world I’ve learned a sad and tragic truth: the welfare of the children is rarely a factor taken into account when decisions are made. Adoption doors close regularly and children are sentenced to a life in miserable orphanages at best, and at worst to life on the streets or in the sex slave trade because of world or local politics and inflated bureaucrats who have no interest in what is best for the children. Officials sit back and claim that their unreasonable decisions were made in the "best” interest of everyone involved. No one asks the children what kind of life they’d prefer; they have no voice.

I’m on my soapbox because I got a number today that horrified me: 883 adoption cases are stuck in the adoption system in Guatemala because the birthmothers did not appear for their interviews. According to the (infamous) National Council on Adoption in Guatemala (CNA) these cases were not “submitted by the August 31, 2008 deadline for the verification process.”