Adoptive family

Single Parent Adoption: Where’s My Sick Day?

FaithA — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 08:23:56 -0500

I had a miserable weekend because I was sick. The Allen household does not function well when I am sick. I wind up still doing 90% of my daily chores and feeling resentful that I have to push my body so hard when what I need to do is rest. Hub says that my colds always linger, and I can tell him why – because I never get a sick day.

Take yesterday for example. I got up at the crack of dawn because Nicholas woke up early. I walked the dogs. I fed the child and both dogs. I cleaned up the glasses and dishes that hub and Nicholas left lying around the night before. I ran the dishwasher and two loads of laundry. Sounds restful, huh?

How To Tuesday: How to Read a Bedtime Story to Your Newly Adopted Child

JulieC — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:31:13 -0500

Most new parents look forward to the end of the day, specifically their children’s bedtime, as it means that they can finally rest their weary bones for a spell, before starting their new and exhausting parental routine all over again the following day. Newly adoptive parents, have a few reasons to be a little nervous about the ‘bedtime routine.’ Especially if they have never read a bedtime story to a child before.

Before falling asleep at night, we are left lying in bed in the dark with nothing but our thoughts in our head. For those who have recently suffered trauma, or great upheaval in their lives, being alone with their thoughts is about the last thing they want to do!

Bedtime stories give your new child something else to think about, they can immerse themselves into a fantasy world where the pains of reality do not exist. They can help to relax your newly adopted child, and help him or her to feel more at ease in their new home. Reading a bedtime story to your newly adopted child is also a great chance for the two of you to begin bonding with one another.

So how do you go about reading a good bedtime story?

Tell Family and Friends About Your Adoption

AngelaW — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:21:13 -0500

My darling is now 11 years old, but I was recently looking at some old photos. She is 5 years old in this picture. And she is very happy.

Revisiting old history made me think about my "family and friends" letter. (Well there was also an email about doing adoption announcements on an email list that I hang out on.)

Once I decided to adopt, I slowly told my closest friends and family. I told them one at a time. I talked to them when it seemed natural. Once my plans firmed up, I sent out an adoption announcement. It was an eight page letter.

It was too wordy because I was excited about my plans.

How to Tell When Your Adopted Child is Lying

JulieC — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:42:14 -0500

Liar, liar, pants on fire! We are all guilty of little white lies from time to time, however lying can be a serious behavior problem for many older adopted children, and traumatized children. Children become extremely charged after experiencing trauma; such as suffering from abuse, neglect, or being removed from the only family that they have ever known. Live in a constant aroused state of fear, and anxiety lying becomes part of how they protect themselves from the chaos going on around them. It is in their eyes, the only way in which they have of showing some control over what is going on in their lives.

Healing from trauma takes many long years of hard, gut wrenching emotionally draining work, which means: don’t expect lying to disappear overnight, the lies will lessen as the child’s emotional pain does. While you may not be able to instantly cure a liar, it sure isn’t hard to spot one once you know what you are looking for.

You Know Your Adopted Child is Lying When You Experience:

When an Adoption Goes Horribly Wrong

LisaS — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 21:29:33 -0500

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time there was a wonderful family who lived in a small town in the Midwest. The parents had been high school sweethearts and after many years of marriage were still in love. They had four wonderful children, but being big hearted people decided that they wanted to adopt a child from Guatemala. After what turned out to be a very long and trying adoption process, they finally got to bring their little girl home. She was tiny, underfed, and obviously had not been given much love or attention. The family doted on her and she bloomed.

Over three years passed by, and this wonderful family decided to adopt another precious child from Guatemala. Unfortunately, during the adoption process, the country of Guatemala decided to change their laws and a new National Committee for Adoption was assembled. This committee decided to impose all sorts of new regulations that affected cases already in process, cases that were supposed to be grandfathered under the old system. One of the laws was to have the birthmothers come forth for yet another interview with the Attorney General’s Office and justify their reasons for placing their child for adoption. Well, the birthmother didn’t show up for this interview and that was not a good thing. The lawyer was doing all he could to remedy this situation.

Then one day the foster mother of this beautiful and precious little girl got a letter from the Attorney General’s Office asking her to bring the baby to their office.

Comments about Adopted and Biological Children

FaithA — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 06:45:02 -0500

The other day, I was hanging out at a park with some parents from my kid’s school while my adopted child ran around with his buddies. The conversation turned to a custody situation with a friend-of-a-friend. Apparently, the couple in question is going through a divorce, and they are fighting over the custody of their two children. One child is their biological child, and they adopted the other child.

My first thought was why the status of biological versus adoptive child was relevant to the conversation. And then I found out … One of the parents stated that it was doubly sad for a woman to be separated from her “only natural child.” [Insert head-banging emoticon here!]

Hump Day Hippie: Making Sand Art Pictures

JulieC — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:48:48 -0500

This is something that is not only really fun to do, but is really cheap if you use the natural resources around you instead of going to the craft store and buying the necessary materials for the project. Gathering the sand from various locations can give you and your child a chance to spend time together in nature allowing you ample time to teach your child about how important it is to preserve our natural resources.

Things you will need:

*Paper
Sand
*Glue

This craft is fun for children of all ages because of how simple it is.

Have your child draw whatever picture he or she so desires on the paper, with the glue.

Make sure that the child understands that he or she must ‘fill in’ spaces with glue if they wish to have more than just an outline.

You and your your child may have to go back and even out any large globs of glue so that the coverage is fairly even.

read more

More on 90210’s Transracial Adoption Storyline

FaithA — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 06:45:07 -0500

I have really been enjoying the way that the new television show 90210 has been revealing just a little bit about the transracial adoption storyline each week. In my first post about the 90210 transracial adoption storyline, I shared that Dixon (played by Tristan Wilds) is an African-American boy who was adopted by a Caucasian family. Dixon’s adopted sister, Annie (played by Shenae Grimes), is the parents’ biological child.

As I shared here, Dixon and Annie had a brief conversation about his adoption in the pilot. That conversation was mostly about how Dixon was not looking forward to having to explain his adoption to a bunch of new people.

In the second episode of 90210, Dixon alluded to growing up in rough foster homes.

Deciding to Parent an Adopted Child as an Only Child

FaithA — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 06:45:03 -0500

I recently realized that I have not written anything about parenting an only child on my blog. How is that possible??

My adopted child is an only child. I did not plan it that way. I always dreamed of parenting four children (goodness help me!!) when I thought about parenthood. Hub only wanted one or two children (“Children are expensive”), so we compromised at two. I never even considered raising my adopted child as an only child until he was almost four years old.

In a perfect world, my adopted child would have had a sibling when he was two or three years old.

Republican Candidate for Presidency no Stranger to Adoption

LisaS — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:24:02 -0500

Before I even begin talking about the topic at hand, let me say that I am not campaigning for anyone; I merely want to bring to our readers’ attention that John McCain is no stranger to adoption. When he married his first wife Carol, he adopted her two sons from her first marriage. Later, with his second wife, they adopted a daughter from Bangladesh.

I love the idea of a pro-adoption president; a president who has adopted step children as well as a child through intercountry adoption. His daughter Bridget, was brought back to the U.S. from Bangladesh by McCain’s present wife Cindy. Apparently Cindy presented the adoption as a fait accompli. He said this in an interview:

Well it was primarily my wife's Cindy's idea. She was in Bangladesh and she and some of the medical personnel visited Mother Theresa's orphanage to try and help the children there. There were two little baby girls there. One had a heart problem the other [Bridget] a severe cleft palate. Cindy was very concerned about their ability to survive and their need for medical treatment, so she decided to bring them here for medical treatment. She fell in love with both of them. We decided to adopt Bridget. Two close friends of ours, adopted Mickey, the other child.”