Scrapsbynobody

Friends

GuestBlogger — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 07:45:04 -0500

"Scraps" as we fondly refer to her, has blogged for us in the past. Each of her blogs is a gem, and today’s post is no exception. Frankly, it brought tears to my eyes…Lisa S.

Hello, I'm Scrapsbynobody. I've been a wife and Mom for over twenty years, and not all that long ago our family decided to pursue adoption. We took a dive into the deep end, by doubling the size of our family through older child, large sibling group, transracial, foster adoption. Welcome to my world . Read more from Scraps here or on her family blog.

I have a very dear friend, who has through the years has only become dearer to me. This friend began her adoption journey around the same time I began mine, and although it has taken different turns than mine, it bears a startling resemblance. One day she shared a remarkable gem of wisdom with me, that I have cherished ever since. She said, "This older child adoption thing, it should be done in community, so that we can all go slowly mad together." I am not advocating going mad, but I am proclaiming the absolute necessity of friends. Not the garden variety of friends, but kindred spirits in this journey. Without friends who really know and understand the ins and outs of our unorthodox lives, we will surely go mad all alone.

One of the most important ways to prepare for your adoption journey, is to find and involve yourself in a community of adoptive families... especially ones that look like your family. Some families adopt internationally and enjoy friendships with other families who have fallen in love with another country and culture. Some families adopt transracially, while others have children with physical or developmental special needs. I could mention buzzwords like "networking" and "support system"...but that's not really what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about real friends, who don't think you're crazy, even if you're sure you are. These are the folks that will quietly watch you throwing in the towel today, knowing you will pick it back up tomorrow. They won't ask about the alarms on your doors or windows, or comment on the baby monitor when you don't have any babies.

Discouragement

GuestBlogger — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 09:12:56 -0500

Once again "Scraps" will capture your minds and hearts with this heart wrenching and incredibly honest blog about her family. I admire Scraps for many things, but her honesty in particular. Lisa S.

Discouragement can hit the most positive thinking, hopeful, energetic folk, and when it does...look out! It has hit our house like a sack full of bricks this month, which is partly why I have been noticeably absent in the blogging world, if anyone notices such things. It is terribly difficult to watch painfully hard work swirling down the drain, and realize that although your adopted children have learned to function within the confines of your family unit, they are still as uncommitted as the day they walked through the door. It is crushingly painful to realize that your adopted children do not harbor a fledgling love for their new family, but rather an appreciation and enjoyment of the perks membership in said family affords.

Stop Using Gross as a Weapon

GuestBlogger — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 07:06:25 -0500

"Scraps" as many of us so fondly refer to her, is a regular guest blogger with "Adoption Under One Roof." Her entertaining and humorous insights into parenting her children are not only helpful, but reflect her loving committment to her children... LIsa S.

I have a confession to make. I can be a very slow learner. In fact, at times I can be downright dense. My lack of intuition in one particular area has cost me permanently. This is a lesson I must file away, if ever I do this older child adoption thing again, because my opportunity will never fly back to me with this set of children.

Everyone knows what grosses Mom out. I have another confession to make. I am a bit of a neat and clean freak. Most of the time this serves me well enough, as I scurry about disinfecting things and organizing drawers. It actually relaxes me, and gives me the illusion of control in my often chaotic life. I know it really does not matter that every recipe I have is neatly filed, or that my fabric bins are arranged by color and type of fabric.

First Meetings

GuestBlogger — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 13:15:23 -0600

Although it seems like a lifetime ago, there was a time that our adopted children were not with us. The process seemed to drag on forever, and in fact, it dragged out longer than necessary.

Age vs. Maturity

GuestBlogger — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:14:07 -0600

Recently, I've been enjoying some blogging and forum discussions here in the house at OurAdopt, about older parent adoption.

Guest Blog: "The Big Picture" by Scraps

GuestBlogger — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 01:50:58 -0600

Over the last couple of days I've been keeping my eye on a conversation going on in bloggyland, and it has actually compelled me to jump into the fray a few times.

Guest Blog: "I Like Cake" from Scrapsbynobody

GuestBlogger — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:59:06 -0600

Recently I was clicking through a few blogs I like to read and I came across a topic of conversation that I've seen tossed about occasionally. It pertained to the idea that foster families had the right to specify what sorts of children they intended to foster. A fair amount of righteous indignation

Guest Blog: "Nothing To Call My Own" by Scrapsbynobody

GuestBlogger — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 23:27:31 -0600